Beware the Elf Queen - Chapter 1 revised

Just going to store this here...afraid the other site I have it stored at is going to go away

Beware the Elf Queen - Chapter 1 revised

Current mood:accomplished

Beware the Elf Queen

By Fredrick James Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 1

To Reunions

A good friend raises a glass and announces,” Congratulations to the lucky couple on their engagement.” Cheers go up from other friends around the table. Inside I feel a happiness that has not been present in a long time. My eyes wander over to my beautiful bride to be. “Laura I thank you for this moment I wish I had listened to you and done it sooner”, I tell her. That is when the warning light goes off in my head. See for my kind “wizards” that is emotions must be kept in check. To much one way or the other and cataclysmic events will happen. “Wizards must live in state of neutral emotions”, the Old Nazi Thaumaturgist had warned me. It’s like some weird Brownian movement to much of one emotion and its opposite comes flooding into your life. Forewarned I began preparing for something bad.

Bad I could’ve handled. Catastrophic I might just have managed. Her there is no defense. A cop once told me, “Don’t ever get in the middle of a domestic dispute if you value your life”. My friends have a saying, “wives, girlfriends, and lovers may they never meet.” Mine should be, “ex-fiancées and current fiancées may they never meet for the blessed continuity of time and space.”

They say time can change a person’s appearance. I almost did not recognize her. She had lost some of her majesty for she seemed shorter. Her eyes had changed from an ever joyous pink/purple hued blue to an almost black royal blue. The magical sheen of her platinum hair had become a flat grayish black. The biggest change was in my Lady’s skin. Her skin used to shine with a joyous wonder. To touch her was to touch pure joy and feel it ride thru you and spark your heart. Now it seemed to reflect only agony, pain, and suffering. The new color was almost grey with swirls of black in it. She told me we would meet again. After all I did not try to kill her, or bind her into a prison like the others had done. No I just sped up what the world was doing to her. I took away her immortality and magic.

The Last Empress of the Elves, Queen of all the Woods walked into the restaurant where my Laura and I where having our engagement party. Her eyes full of hate and envy locked onto my fiancé as everyone stopped talking. “You think you are the first he has given a ring to”, she queries. “No don’t answer. Know this Laura I snap my fingers and he is mine. Has always been mine. Will always be mine,” she triumphantly declares. 

I awake drenched in sweat, cold, and shivering with fear. The wrath and fiery vengeance of an Elven Queen is too much for a mere mortal man to bear. On that night I not only lost my beloved Laura, but my magic as well. For my Lady had used my own ritual for locking away a person’s magic against me. It has been weeks and still the shock of it hurts to the core of my soul. The Old Wizard the Nazi Thaumaturgist had told me, “Magic my boy moves in a circle not a straight line.”

Oh I thought I understood. Wisdom is not gained in a single day. Revenge is not sweet. Love is not always happiness. Only fools break the hearts of Immortal Queens, and other such rhetoric. Such a fool I was, and then a fool I was to be. However every fool much like a dog has his day.

“Focus is most crucial before starting any endeavor,” my Queens own words. How well she used to harp on that lesson. Revenge did I really want it? My lost magic that is something I do want back. Just how far do I want to go with this? Then there was her kiss. No human woman can ever hope to equal her kiss. This was the exact same problem I had the last time I decided to confront her. Years later and nothing has changed one bit. I just can not kill her, or imprison her.

“Magic moves in a circle not a straight line,” the old words come back to me again. My Lady still does not have all her magic back. She cannot yet do sorcery only rituals. Therefore is she really a threat? Should I just try and forget about her? Then the Goblin’s words echo in my mind,” The problem with humans is time. With enough time all is forgotten and forgiven.” Now that she has had her revenge perhaps it is time for us both to seek forgiveness from each other.

Forgiveness the mere thought of it hits me like a rolling wave of passion. To be with her again it feels so right. I loved Laura with a true and deep love. However it was a mere puddle when compared to my love for my Elven Queen. The warm nostalgia of an old passionate love affair. So easy to simply fall back into like an old comfy chair. I must start at the beginning with our first meeting.

I Vargulf (Werewolf) Chapter 5

I Vargulf (Werewolf)


by Fredrick J. Rourk


Copyright 2009

Chapter 5


Mother



I have never been so happy, or been so proud of my mother. She was simply spectacular as she led us in our first battle. Our victory happened in the forest down the hill from the King’s Castle. I say us for I have been knighted and have joined the Ancient Order of the Black Hats. My Mother’s Unseelie Dark Knights for she is their Captain.

We waste no time after our victor and soon begin marching forward towards the castle up the hill. I proudly march on my mother’s right as her Lieutenant. My Mother is an amazing combination of beauty and death. She sits astride her Nightmare Charger, flames shooting from its hooves, fire in its eyes, and our enemies’ blood dripping from the fearsome beast mouth. Mother wears blood red plate armor with black piping. Her helm is all black with a white skull mask in the front. On her blood red shield is the insignia of our order a white grinning skull wearing a big black top hat.


To my mother’s left marches her other Lieutenant; her old friend the Baroness Maurelle. My marriage contract is no longer an issue. The Baroness confessed to everything. She told us how it was she who put pressure on the King to enforce the marriage contract. Baroness Maurelle confessed to urging the King to put a bounty on me to be brought in. At first my mother was furious with her old friend, but as she listened to Maurelle’s tell of horror and woe she forgave her.

The poor Baroness her son grew up to be a big disappointment. Why last year he was voted “Nicest and most Pure Hearted Knight of the Seelie Court.” I mean it was bad enough that he joined up with the good guys.


The broken hearted Baroness took hope that being married to me he might go back to being evil. Well my mother was not going to allow her only daughter to be married to no goody two shoes. My Mother the High Princess simply tore up the contract. See she put in a Royal Clause. This clause basically gave her the right to cancel the contract at will.

All of that damn drama for nothing. It is so weird the moment she tore up the contract. I quit having feelings for the poor guy. Now at this point I’m just a little confused. If I’m free why are we fighting? I’m not a captive. The wedding is canceled. It is always good to know what you are fighting for.


The Ancient Prophecy foretelling the Kingdom of Blood. That’s right I almost forgot. See a very long time ago there where two sisters. There names where Luna and Gaia. Now both of these sisters had fallen in love with the same guy. His name was Sol. Mr. Sol had decided that the younger sister Luna was the one he loved and wanted for his wife. Gaia the older sister was furious and jealous. She placed a curse on the couple to keep them apart.

Ever since then poor old Sol and Luna have only been able to be together for brief instances (lunar and solar eclipses). In their grief at being kept apart the couple dreamed up children to keep them company. The children’s names where of course Oberon and Titania. With Oberon of course being the son of Luna and dear Titania being the daughter of Sol.


Fast forward many years later. Luna and Sol notice their children are not happy. They have no friends and no place to play. During one of their brief encounters Sol and Luna dream up a new land. They create more dream children for Oberon and Titania to play with. In this new land of Arcadia; Oberon and Titania are made king and queen.


All the people of Arcadia quickly divided into those that followed Oberon and those that followed Titania. In this way the Unseelie and the Seelie Court first began.

For many long ages everything along peacefully somewhat. Manny in the land seemed happy with the arrangement. Then one day Mr. Puck played his Midsummer Prank. From this great prank Queen Titania ended up giving birth to a child fathered from another man. Her name was Princess Glorianna; half faerie and half human. Everyone in the Land of Arcadia was shocked, but happy. Slowly as the new Princess grew so did a new idea.


That idea was eventually formed into the Orange Court. A third court of politics that changed the political landscape. For the new court was neither dark nor light, nor hot nor cold, but moderate. To bad the Orange Court was doomed. Its figurehead was half human and therefore suffered from human frailties.

Young Princess Glorianna had fallen madly in love with a human man. Against her parents wishes she married him and forever forsaken her immortal faerie half forever. Manny in the land blamed the King and the Queen for this tragedy. Without really intending it they planted the seed for a deadly curse upon their great rulers.


In their grief at the loss of Glorianna the King and the Queen put aside old differences and soon gave birth to a new Princess. My mother who on the day she was boon the last members of the Orange Court sacrificed their lives to give power to the Doom Curse placed on the King and Queen.

It is foretold that one day the High Princess Donella will go into a Blood Rage and take the off the heads of the King Oberon and Queen Titania. Covered in their blood my mother will pick up the Royal Crowns and merge them both into a sing crown.


With the deaths of King Oberon and Queen Titania the Unseelie Court and the Seelie Court will both be no more. Arcadia the Land of Dreams will be lost and reborn as the Kingdom of Blood. A new land filled with rage and destruction.

Wait a minute. That’s what I’m here fighting for? I do not particularly care for this place, but that just seems a little extreme. Just about the time I’ve decided to stop my mother, and talk to her about all this. The idiots in the Drawbridge Tower have decided to fire a volley of arrows at us. Well at least I now know why Knights call their horses Chargers. My Mother’s Charger is fast I had to do a little this and that just to keep up with them.


“Mother you can knock off with the showboating,” I think to myself. I watch as she kills five of the enemy before I can even get to one. She just straight away goes and kabobs three of them with her lance. Then she takes the heads off two more of them as she draws her sword in a big blinding arc. Fine you want show boating I’ll give you show boating.

I draw forth my sword the beautiful instrument given me by my dear Nuoli. Communicating to the Fire Salamander Spirit bonded in the blade. “Hey dude you know it would be just great if you could like engulf those guys over there in your fire.”


“Firesong may be to tame of a name for this awesome blade of devastation,” I think to myself. Everyone has stopped fighting to gawk at my sword’s awesome path of burning destruction. The ashes of those who stood in the way of the advancing flames are glowing white hot little mounds. Unfortunately the cobblestones of the nice little road leading up to the Drawbridge Tower are glowing white hot as well. Not to mention the red hot metal bars of the Tower’s Portcullis. Wow that was just a little more than I was expecting. At least I succeeded in upstaging my Mother for once.

“Dear Daughter please tell me you have a plan for getting our army across your supper heated path of devastation?” Inquires my Mother as she removes her helmet and shakes out her beautiful auburn hair.


“Your Highnesses I suggest we bivouac break for tea and scones,” says the Baroness Maurelle.

“A most excellent idea my old friend I do feel famished. While we are at break perhaps my daughter can take some scouts down to the moat edge and do some reconnaissance. The least she can do is find us another route into the castle. I fear by now they have surely raised and locked the Drawbridge in place,” Says my Mother.


“Yes Mother,” I agree realizing I’m not getting any scones today. This day has gone from bad to worse, to just plain nightmarish. Now I have gone and disappointed my Mother. I went and ruined her plans for a quick and easy conquest. “I’m the worst daughter ever,” as I spend the next couple of hours crying on a rock down by the moat.

Suddenly someone is placing a blanket around me. I look up into the eyes of Nuoli and Simone.


“What are you guys doing here?”

“We have come to talk to you while the King’s Negotiator is meeting with your Mother,” says Nuoli.


“It was so romantic your father gave her roses, chocolate, and sexy lingerie” gushes Simone.

“Wait the King’s Negotiator is my father?”


“Yes,” they both say in unison.

“Well they better be practicing safe sex the last thing the world and I need is a new sibling.”


“Don’t be so dramatic. You should be happy for your parents. All mine ever do is work, fight with each other, and just sit around the house,” says Nuoli.

“Umm Nuoli I’ve been wondering is the sword going to do that every time I want to use it’s fire powers?”


Nuoli replies, “No it should not have done that. My only explanation is that this land enhances magical powers. Astrid do you still have the Rubik’s Cube?”

“Oh do you want that back? Simone what do you think? Should I just give it back to him?”


“No way; make him pay for it. At least find out what it does,” says Simone.

“Please Astrid can I have it back. My supplier just text me and informed me that that he will be unable to get any more for a long time. See bonded inside the cube are a dozen rare pure bred Nipponese Green Gremlins.”


“Are these Japanese Green Gremlins the best?” I ask while tossing the cube straight up in the air and then catching it. Getting a good feel for the weight and estimating the distance to the Drawbridge.

“Astrid do not do it. Just please don’t do it. Right now your father is negotiating to put an end to this fighting,” pleads Nuoli.


“Now guys what fun would that be,” as I let loose a beautiful throw. The cube flies in a nice arc and then shatters against the Castle’s Draw Bridge.

“Girl that was not very nice,” says Simone.


I leave my friends down by the moat. Changing into a form fit for battle as I make my way towards the Drawbridge Guard Tower. With my off hand I rip the Tower’s Portcullis free and simply toss it into the moat. During all this I’m fighting back the guards with my sword arm. My actions have not gone unnoticed and soon I find myself joined in battle by most of Mother’s Nights. Together we make quick work of the remaining Tower Guards.

One of the Nights shouts “Lieutenant what about the Drawbridge?”


“Do not fear I sent in saboteurs to remedy the situation. You there Corporal go and see to it that my mother is informed of the situation. My fellow Nights of the Order of Black Hats our battle continues.”

The Knights are cheering me as occasionally issued from inside the Castle are the sounds of screeching gears, and metal clanging from across the moat. Then suddenly there is a very loud bang followed by a swooshing sound as the Drawbridge comes crashing down.


Rallying the Nights behind me,” This Castle is now ours!” Thinking to myself ”today has been a good day.”

I Vargulf (Werewolf) - Chapter 4

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter4

Parental Misconceptions

“Okay Daddy you can knock off the jokes. Someone needs protection from my mother. I mean the woman can’t even slice a bagel, or open a jar of pickles.” I say chocking back a laugh.

 “Astrid this may come as a surprise, but your mother is the greatest sword master I have ever met.” States my Dear Uncle of Comedy Finn.

 “Uncle Finn please stop with the comedy. Not in the mood for any jokes right now,” I say very sarcastically.

 “No dear it is true what Finn says. You have never seen your mother in her fairy form. When she takes on that aspect she is the vilest, most dangerous, psychopathic, and blood thirsty supper villain the world has ever seen,” says my dear father.

 “Daddy when did you become so funny? My mom is a super villain and there are blood thirsty fairies.” Then just when I’m about to really cut loose with laughter. Someone has gone and put a silver razor to my throat.

 “Silence your mocking laughter child. It was not that long ago that we of the Unseelie Court used to take away the naughty children from their parents.” Says the Dark Lady with a razor held to my throat.

 “Well hello there Baroness it has been a long time,” Says Uncle Finn.

 “Sir Finn,” Says the Razor Lady. Now I could not see her, but I could feel her heart quickening and feel her blush.

 “Dear Lady it has been fifteen years since our last encounter and if anything my dear you are more beautiful today than back then.”

 “Okay you guys go and get your own room.” I say 

 “No my future daughter in law what we will all do is sit and have some tea. My Dear Old Friend Finn please entertain us with an epic bardic tale of adventure. I do believe these children are not familiar with the true story of how a Vargulf Warrior and The High Princess of Arcadia first meet and fell in love.” So says this Baroness person who is conducting me to sit on her lap while she holds a silver razor to my throat.

 “No it is my story to tell, and yes Baroness my daughter does need to know the truth. Astrid forget that story your mother tells of me rescuing her from a mugging. It did not happen at all like that.”  

“It had come to the attention of the Vargulf that a new and very dangerous serial killer was loose. The murders sounded like the activity of a powerful vampire. Heroes had been called for to hunt down and destroy the evil villain.”

 “I was lucky to be the first to pick up the suspects trail. It turned out my suspect was a beautiful woman who lured men back to her lavish den of death. Risking it all for the honor of a solo kill I let her take me back. After all she thought I was just a mortal, and I thought she was a vampire. Imagine our surprise to find our little misconceptions.”

 “We fought a great battle. Her speed and skill was great enough to defeat my strength and bravado. She did not kill me. This dark killer who had vanquished me she preferred to torture and have her way with her victims first. I awoke on a bed with silk sheets, my wrist, and my ankles where heavily secured.”

 “Daddy what the hell are you saying?”

 “Your mother raped him. That is the way it happened as I recall,” says the Baroness. “Days later she arranged for him to be released.”  

 “Yes and then I hunted for her again determined to kill her. However the trail had just simply disappeared. It was like she had never existed.”  

“Then nine months later on Christmas Day I awoke to a kiss and a silver razor at my throat. She had me get up and guided me to the living room of my apartment at the time. There under my little Christmas Tree in the corner was a newborn baby girl. She told me it was our daughter. Then the she took my hand and placed a ring on it. She told me she would be my wife if I would be her husband. On that Christmas Day I received two very special gifts.” 

 “Well my old friend that was not a bad story. However you missed the whole courtship and battles of the Baroness and I,” says Uncle Finn.  

 “Oh we can not forget that,” says the Baroness getting up and melting into my Uncle Finn’s arms.

 Clapping her hands in excitement Simone says,” I always wanted to see what would happen if two people gave each other the Kiss of Death at the same time.”

 “Kiss of,” I say with my mouth open in wonder and awe at the beauty and majesty of the Fairy Kiss of Death. My stupid Uncle and the Psycho Baroness are locked in a kiss. I hear something about holiness and shit as Nuoli faints. Then there is a second thud as Daddy faints from behind me. For by now the Baroness and Uncle Finn’s bodies are literally glowing with magical energy and passion. It is so blinding and stunning that my legs are beginning to become all jelly like. Just as I’m about to faint the two lovers break from their enchanted kiss. They each take a step back and then faint to the ground.

 “Wow that was so beautiful,” Simone says as she helps me sit down in a chair.

 “Are they dead Simone?”

 “No Blondie they call it the Kiss of Death but really all it does is just knock a person out for a few days.”

 “Oh,” is all I can say.

 Simone gets up and goes over to a shelf in the room. Then she picks up a picture frame.  

 “Astrid how old where we when we became blood sisters?”

 “We where ten years old Simone. Why?”

 “It looks like we have a few moments alone, so I want to catch you up on some gossip. See these two little girls in this photo.”

 “The one on the right is my mother, but who is the other one?”

 “I believe it is our Baroness over there sleeping off her kiss. Astrid my gossip concerns these two little girls. Do you wish to here it?”

 “More crazy stories about my mother, but of course.”

 “Well when the Baroness was nine years old she learned she was promised in an arranged marriage. This was to take place when she was to come of age. The next day after learning this news our little Baroness went to have tea with her best friend the High Princess. For the High Princess had recently mastered the ability to foretell the future. The High Princess used her skill to foretell her friend’s marriage. She was very happy to tell her friend that she would have a happy marriage.”

 “The Baroness was filled with joy and then asked the Princess if she would have children. Our Princess used her power once again to foretell the Baroness would indeed have children, and her first born would be a handsome boy. Both the girls thought this was a lot of fun so eventually the Princess found herself checking her own future. She found out that she would be married and have a daughter of her own.”

 “I don’t think I like this story Simone”

 “Shut up and let me finish. Now where was I? So our two girls where both happy to find out they would have children and be married. Now at this point my sources differ on which one came up with the idea of the two future children getting married. However they agree it was your mother who slit the servant girl’s throat with a butter knife. Then she cut the skin off the dead girl’s back, and wrote an arranged marriage contract in the dead girl’s blood. Both the Baroness and your mother then signed this contract in their own blood.”

 “Simone where in the hell do you get this stuff?”

 “Maybe if you are nice I will introduce you. They are a pair of satyr twin boys. Oh Astrid you do not know the sacrifices I had to make to get this information for you.”

 “Simone I have never seen you blush before.”

 “Oh just having a little flash back. Twins Astrid. Twin satyrs.” 

 “Okay you are really starting to gross me out Simone. So did you learn any more?”

 “Oh yes the story gets much worse. Now as my sources tell it there is a rare faerie power that only the highest nobles and those of royal blood possess. They called it “True Naming”. Now apparently faeries believe that everybody and everything has a secret true name. Now those with the power of True Naming can learn a person or things True Name. Now with that knowledge they can then if they wish make changes to the True Name.”

 “Oh no Uncle Finn told me a story like this once. Those with the power can change the name and thus change the person or thing right?”

 "Correct. Now apparently my sources believe your mother and the Baroness used this power to seal their contract. Furthermore my sources believe that technically you both where married on that day. Years before you where both to even be born your souls where mated to each other.”

 “My whole body begins to tremble. “Simone I’m scared,” I say as my heart is pounding wildly.

 “I know it is so romantic to think that you could already be married to someone you have never even met.”

 Just then there is a knock on the bedroom door. It is followed by the sound of a key being slid under the door. Quick as lightning I jump out of the chair. I change shape as I bash down the door, tackling the messenger who delivered the key.

 “You are late,” I stop in mid sentence. Forgetting what I was going to say or do. “My husband,” I say as I kiss his lips, changing back into human form. Time has stopped as I lose myself in our kiss.

 “Okay you two break it up. Don’t you two know it is bad luck to see each other before the ceremony?” Says Simone as she wraps a blanket around me.

 “Ceremony? Hey wasn’t I about to kill someone? Simone where are my clothes?” I say and then my eyes look into his again.

 “Okay you two really need to take a few and I don’t know make introductions. Hello. Are you two even listening to me? I’m warning you both. You are forcing me to do something we all will regret,” says Simone. 

 Now in all the years I have known my Dear Simone I thought I had seen her use her Powers of Seduction at their fullest. In truth I really had no idea of what she could really do. The Vargulf Bards tell stories of Seducers bringing the dead back to life with a mere kiss. I always dismissed this as pure fiction.

 Now I consider myself to be very straight, but right at that moment well. Hell even I wanted to grab Simone, kiss her, tear her clothes off, and well we shall not go into any more of that.

 If Simone's power could do this to me what is happening to all these other guys. Other guys? Where did all these slobbering, drooling people suddenly come from? Why even Daddy and Nuoli are here drooling. The Baroness and Uncle Finn even woke from their coma and have joined this throng of lust. I just hope I don’t have to end up fighting every last one of these freaks.

 As the first lust zombie is about to make a grab for Simone. A commanding deep voice calls out.

 “Torahammas? Torahammas is that you my boy?”

 “King Oberon. Why yes it is I your son in law,” says Daddy snapping out of the lust spell and pulling of a sharp bow. 

 “No need for that my son. It has been to long since you where last in these halls,” says this king fellow as he gives my father a big warm hug. Then I notice that everyone except for me is now kneeling.

 “Your Highness allow me to introduce you to your Grand Daughter Astrid,” says my Daddy. However he is too late for the King and I have just looked deep into each others eyes.

 Suddenly I know everything. I know my destiny, my title, and more important where I should be right now. For this very instant a great prophecy is unfolding concerning the fate of the entire Kingdom of Arcadia. In a language I did not know I could speak I cast a magic spell of teleportation that I previously did not know. My mother soon I will be at your side. Together we will complete the great prophecy foretold at your birth. Soon the Kingdom of Arcadia will be no more, and in its wake the new Kingdom of Blood will be born. My mother soon you shall take your place as the Blood Queen.

I Vargulf (Werewolf) - Chapter 3

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 3 

Tech Support
 
 When the going gets tough. The tough call for tech support. I would have called home, but I don’t know the number. Damn cell phones you never have to punch numbers anymore. Just fortunate that there was a phone in this my mother’s room as there was not one in that other room I was in.

 Nuoli dear boy you promised me that this was a direct number. If I get put on hold one more time boy you are so going to get it. Now when a guy gives a girl a magical business card and tells her it is his direct number. It had better be his direct number.

 Now it is not like Nuoli is my boyfriend. He is just my Tech Support Agent. To be honest I have thrown myself at him a few times. Now it is not like he is gay. In fact I don’t think they have a category for him yet. “Nuoli does not do biologicals”, as he likes to say. Which is big shame because under that uber geek is a hotty with a heart of gold.

 “Yes is this the caller who identified herself as my red hot sexy baby mama? If so dear caller do not you have been missing for almost a week now. A great many people are very concerned over your health status. Do note that your call has been traced to a very mysterious and previously unknown area of the phone system. That is being corrected as we speak.” So says my favorite uber geek tech support agent.

 My head is spinning with the information that I have been missing for almost a week. “Nuoli dear boy come rescue me. Rescue me and I will make every wish in your sexual fantasy blog come true.”

 “Caller how is that you are aware of that document?”

 “Hey what can I say you’re not the only one who can use a computer.” I say a little sarcastically.

 “Dear caller it is not fair to continue teasing me. For I have been made aware that you are soon to be a happily married woman. I went over to your house the other day. Your mother unit told me all about your wedding plans and showed me the invitations.”

 “What!”

 “Astrid dear you are my one and only true love. I always knew a day would come when you would break my heart. Please accept this last gift to remember me by. It is that instrument that you requested. I will always treasure our times together.

 “What!”

 The world has truly gone crazy. My head is spinning out of control. On top of all this weird news Nuoli hung up the phone on me. He hung up on me. I suddenly find myself fighting back tears. Wait did he say something about a present?

 The phone is really starting to act weird. It is vibrating and making a strange humming sound. Very slowly a big brown package emerges up out of the phone. Nuoli I don’t know how you did that trick. You are a true Vargulf Techno Mage my love.  

 Inside the box is a sword, scabbard, duty belt, belt pouches, cell phone, two grenades, automatic lock pick gun, mini blow torch, 3x night vision monocular, led flashlight, and for some strange reason a Rubix Cube. Nuoli I promise that I will find every piece of your broken heart and put it all back together again. It is so nice to be loved.

 Picking up the automatic lock pick gun; I have to wonder how did he know? Well I’m not going to waste time dwelling on that question right now. It is time to remove a major inconvenience from my ass. Master locked annoying silver panty chastity belt thingy it is high time your came off.

 Freedom is mine at last. The lock pick gun thingy actually worked. Sliding off the vile chastity belt I finally get a chance to inspect my gunshot wound. I have not had a chance since that night. Praise and blessing to all the Gods and Goddesses of Valhalla. High honors to Odin and Frigga for a miracle has occurred. My ass has healed whole. Why there is no scar at all. It is simply like the wound never happened.

 This is an occasion to celebrate. I get the incantation right on the second attempt to summon forth my magic bathtub. For my last birthday / Christmas I inherited this large copper antique claw footed magic bathtub. It used to belong to my great aunt. She was the last Valkyrie berserker in our clan. According to the old folks she would summon it up during battles, and take blood baths in it. Now a blood bath does sound fun. However right now I just want a good old fashion hot water bath.

 Relaxing in the tub and sipping fine wine. I found some bottles in the closet while I had a water elemental and a fire elemental service the tub. Oh the good life. There is nothing like a little relaxing break from all the action. A short moment of private enjoyment; if only my love Nuoli was here. Suddenly I sense a powerful magic in the room. Then there is a strange popping sound.

 “Nuoli,” I say as I grab him, and pull him into the tub. Next I was kissing him on the lips with fiery passion. I then roll us around in the tub getting on top of him. Out of the corner of my eyes I notice my Uncle Finn is in the room. Very good then there should be a bard on hand to chronicle our first love making.

 “Now daughter dear don’t let me interrupt or anything,” says this very familiar and paternal voice.

 “Daddy!” Jumping up and whisking on a bathrobe faster than most people can blink.

 “Dear BFF Astrid we have come to rescue you,” states my best friend in the world Simone.

 Suddenly I find myself back in the tub. Nuoli, Simone, and I are engaged in three way kiss / hug. I’m trying not to get mad at Simone. After all the girl can’t help it she is a very sexual person after all, and a damn good kisser.  

See there are three basic classes of the Vargulf Race. Fighters like Daddy and me, Mages like Nuoli, and then there are Bards like Uncle Finn and Simone. Your class is determined at birth by the signs and the date of your birth. Little things like what day it is, the phases of the moon, and the arrangement of the stars all play a part in it. Now I was fortunate enough to be born on a December 24th one of the special days of Rage. Thus I’m in the Fighter Class.  

 Now in each of the classes there are sub classes. Examples would be like Nuoli is a Techno Mage and I’m a Berserker. Then we come to the very rare and exotics like my good friend Simone. She is what we call a Seducer. Now there are generally no more than one or two Seducers born every century. However Simone is that uber rare only one every thousand years Seducer. Once long ago the Vargulf where blessed to have two at the same time. I believe their names where Helen and Paris. They caused a lot of trouble and ended up being responsible for the destruction of an entire civilization.  

 Now it’s not like Simone is a Goddess or anything. I think she’s just slightly above average my self. However she has something no other woman has. What it is I just can’t quit describe. All I have to say is that it’s just not fair. Not fair at all. Guys as well as girls just can’t seem to say no to her. She just tosses those raven locks of hers around, bats those long eye lashes, or just smiles and they are under her power.  

I like all Vargulf girls used to fantasize of meeting a male of Simone’s class, but unfortunately never have. Uncle Finn says they tend to have very short life spans. Which is something I can very well understand believe me. I have lost track over the years of all of the psycho, jealous, stalker, wannabe assassins who have gone after my BFF Simone. Well I’ll just say one last thing on this subject. Simone’s father has a Mossberg Customer Appreciation Brass Plaque mounted on the front door of their home.

 “Children we don’t have time for this. Remember we are on a mission here,” grumbles my dear father.

 “It is okay Daddy I do believe I’m rescued.”

“Astrid silly girl we are not here to rescue you,” quips in my Uncle Finn.

 “Not rescue me? Well who then?” 

 “The purpose of our mission is to protect King Oberon and Queen Tatiana from your mother the High Princess of Arcadia. The mission will be considered a success if I can get both my Princess back home safely,” states my loving father.

I Vargulf (Werewolf) Chapter 2

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 2 

Do They Taste Like Chicken

 Okay Astrid Girl enough astral reconnoitering it is time to get the spirit back in the body. See I have been very busy since I woke up this morning. I found out I have to go and do things the hard way. While I was sleeping I had this pleasant dream of having a big breakfast of fresh, bloody, and juicy fairy meat. However fate has gone and said “NO”! Now either my enemies are lucky fools, or they are evil super geniuses. I find myself in a most unusual predicament. Simply put I can not shape change.

 My kind and loving parents have always warned me of the evil and trickery of strangers. However this is some sick and very disturbing shit I find myself in. Some demented sicko has gone and put silver metal panties on me while I was sleeping. Silver has always been the great hubris of the Vargulf Race. Now to make things worse they have a very intricate lock on them which keeps me from getting them off. All of this keeps me from changing shape to a form more fitting for rending my enemies flesh from their bodies, and having a nice nutritious breakfast. 

 What they don’t realize is that all this means is that I just have to go and get all tactical and strategic on them. Well I do give my host props for the huge super comfy bed. The night gown is a little to Renaissance Fairy for my personal taste. Whoever put ribbons in my hair will be lucky if I only tear his/her throat out when I do get free.

 Okay after a last futile attempt to squeeze out of the master locked evil silver panties. I decide it’s time to get out of bed and look around. First off this room is huge. It is easily twice as big as my bedroom at home. There is a desk, bookshelf, wood stove, wine rack, mini bar, and a wedding dress. “Oh no they don’t really think,” I say out loud as my eyes lock on the wedding dress in the corner of the room. Standing in front of the infernal object of ultimate evil as my temper goes from hot to nuclear meltdown. On a table by the dress are drawings, plans, invitations, and more important a picture of the groom to be. I quickly memorize his face. A special death will have to be planned for him.

 In the opposite corner of the room is a nice little wood stove with glowing embers in it. I summon a cute little fire elemental to my hand from it. Then I roll the little guy up in a ball and toss him at the wedding dress. Note to self for future reference; wedding dresses go up like roman candles.

 Fire and chaos my old friends together they have given me inspiration to form a grand plan of battle. In this wonderful moment I have remembered something my Uncle Finn told me about Magical Warfare.

 “Astrid dear we Vargulf can not go toe to toe in magical battle with spells against Mages and Vampires. For our enemies are truly greater than us in that particular arena of battle. However we can crush them with numbers. No other race can summon spirits and elementals like we can. That is how we defeat them in magical battles.”

 Good call Uncle Finn as I lie back down on the bed and depart my body for some astral mayhem. This should not take long I can move at the speed of thought in astral space. My plan is to reconnoiter and summon up a large army of spirits and elementals. Then I will simply level this cursed place.

 During my astral spying phase I have learned this place is a huge castle. I do hope the owners have insurance. Now the inhabitants are very interesting, and damn if there are not a lot of them. Some of them are tiny, some large, and some short. A few of the fairy folk seem to be made out of metal, rock, or have scales. There are your typical fairies with insect wings and others that look like fantasy elves. I even thought I caught a glimpse of a dragon for a second there.

 Just zipping along merrily taking notes, and making plans for a grand demolition worthy of my status. My eyes filled with visions of conquest and then disaster strikes. Apparently I have gone and wandered into my mom’s old room. It has to be her room. Her scent is on the bed, clothes, and etc. Why there are even pictures and paintings of her all about. Suddenly a realization hits me. These strange fairy folk they are my kin.

 Oh this just sucks. As a Vargulf Valkyrie I have taken an oath to protect my kinfolk. Deep down in my heart and my soul I know the truth. I must put an end to my plans of carnage. All the spirits and elementals are released from service after putting out the fires and blowing all the smoke clear.

 I cry all the way back to my body. Where I discover lots of my new fairy folk kin are in the room. Some of them are crying over my apparently lifeless body. Well I can’t have them crying. I rush back into my body and suddenly sit up. Fast talking I thank them all for caring for my body while I was away from it. Before they can interrupt I leap off the bed and rush out the door. With an authoritative voice I announce that I will be staying in my mother’s old room.

 I actually made it to the door of my mother’s old bedroom. Of course the damn door is locked. While standing there wondering what to do next a guard comes over and unlocks the door for me. Holding onto the door I look back at them all and announce,” within the next hour the key to this chastity belt will be placed under this door. If not my wrath will know no bounds.” Then very quickly I slam the door behind me and lock it.

 Kin, family, and relatives this was all so much easier when they where just enemies. My mother’s bedroom the mysterious place where she grew up as a child. She never talked much about her side of the family. All I know is a little Daddy told me. I know she was supposed to be a heroine. Apparently she was some kind of brave knight or holy avenger thingy.

 All of this has caused me to dredge up a dark memory from two years ago. I was sent home early from school one day for something or other. Sneaking into the house to evade my parents and instead I find my mother in my bedroom. She was having a tea party with all my dolls and stuffed animals. Presently she noticed me and invited me to join her. Can you imagine catching your mother playing with your dolls? I asked her, “Mom what are you doing?”

 “Princess Astrid my dear lovely daughter come join me for you must learn to hold a proper court. Soon my dear you will be of proper age and as a member of the royal family you will be required to perform certain duties.”

 I told her she was crazy, and I flipped the tea table over. The tea spilled all over her dress. In a panic I ran out of the house as fast as I could. Outside I was alone and crying not sure of what to do. After a bit I crept back in the house. I found my mother still sitting there drenched in tea and she was crying. I just watched in horror for a few moments and then I began cleaning up the mess. The whole time my mother just sat there crying. I did not know what else to do for her. Then she just snapped out of it when my father came home. We never ever talked about that day and what happened. Damn all you faeries for making me remember that.  

my writing project - I Vargulf (Werewolf) Chapter 1

I Vargulf (Werewolf)

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 1 

Motorcycles are Dangerous
 
 I do hope those vampys know this means war. As I lick the last of the vampire sniper’s blood off my claws I notice the .50 caliber Barrett Riffle. Oh how I can’t help but smile. It brings a tear of joy to my eye. My enemies have thought to honor me by using real military weapons. Wow how special is that? Then the hot fiery pain from the silver .50cal bullet in my ass rips thru my body.

 
 Oh vengeance will be mine dear vampys. This time it was not funny or cute. Not like the drive by in front of the school. Not like the time at the mall with the supper soakers loaded up with deadly acid. Now those where truly funny times. Funny Ha Ha good laughs. I mean I totally got the joke after I killed every last one of them. Suddenly it just hit me how truly funny it all was. I laughed and laughed.

 The thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that the bullet was meant for my heart. What kind of two bit sniper does not account for windage? Why does not everyone know that adrenaline fueled fifteen year old hot racer girls do when presented with a long line of green lights? I mean come on I was ridding a Hayabusa the fastest production motorcycle in the world. Of course I’m going to nail the throttle wide open. The bike being a Hayabusa is going to launch up off the ground. So if you want to nail your target in the heart. Aim higher stupid. This is not rocket science here vampys.

 By all rights I should be in Valhalla right now. Why I would be contemplating which God do I have my way with first Thor or Loki? If I was up there I would be drinking Meade and eating a big hunking leg of pork. What I should not be doing right now is trying to dig a big ass silver bullet out of my ass. This shit hurts. Note to self little sharp pieces of scrap metal do not make good scalpels. 

 Will my ass ever bee the same? Generally I’m quite proud of my fine ass. Why just this last summer at the beach my ass caused a six car pile up. All I did was bend over to pick up a Frisbee at my feet. Of course I was wearing my little red g-string at the time. It’s not like there aren’t hundreds of other six foot tall blondes running around Laguna Beach where I live. Oh but who is going to want to look at my ass now? I just know this wound is going to heal leaving a big ugly scar. I nearly faint as I finally get the bullet out.

 Oh hell I must look a sight as I go limping down the street. Wait I’m limping? Vampy assholes this shit better heal up I have prom coming up. Just look my black racing suit is all ripped to shreds, covered in blood, oil, and dirt. Daddy is going to be so pissed I had to ditch the Hayabusa. Poor thing it’s totaled. I just got it only a few weeks ago as my Birthday slash Christmas Present.
 Shit! Here comes a cop car. Great he spotted me. Here he comes. Like Uncle Finn always says,” You got three choices Astrid fight, flee, or smooze your way out.” Lucky for the cop he is a cute and I believe I will go with smoozing.

 “Excuse me is that your motorcycle back over there?” Inquires the nice hot police officer.

 “The motorcycle back over there burning on fire? Why yes it’s mine.” I say in my best daddy’s little girl voice.

 “Yes that’s the one. Hey do you need medical attention? You wouldn’t happen to have a license would you?” He ask leaning out of the car.

 “No Officer I will be fine if I can just get home. Here is my license.” 

 “Astrid Torahammas age fifteen. It says here you live on Torahammas Lane in Laguna Beach?”

 “Yes and yes Officer. The city named the street after us for all of my Daddy’s hard civic work. We give a lot of money to the Mayor and the Police. Do we have a problem Officer?”

 “Well no I just want to double check this. It is not every day you find a fifteen year old girl with a Class A & M Driver’s License.”

 “Yes my Daddy got it for me. He got me a Pilot’s License too. Now I can fly airplanes and helicopters.”

 “I don’t believe this, but it checks out. Say why don’t you get in the back seat, and I will give you a ride home. It is long way from Huntington to Laguna.” 

 “That is very sweet of you Officer. Say can we stop and get something to eat? Suddenly I’m very hungry.”

 “No problem. Would it be all right if I asked you a personal question?

 “Knock yourself out Officer. What would you like to know?”

 “Is your mother’s name Donella Faerydae Torahammas?”

 “Yes that is my mom’s name. Do you know her?” I say stifling back a yawn.

 “No Royal Princess Astrid I never had the honor of meeting the High Princess Donella.”

 “Okay dude what is with all this princess bullshit?” I say yawning again and fighting to keep my eyes open.

 “Don’t tell me you do not know that you are the daughter of the High Princess of Arcadia? Why your mother is a great hero of the Shadow Court and all fairy people.”

 “I don’t know anything about that.” I say fighting to stay awake. “Hey did you put a sleep spell on me?”

 “Yes I did. It is for you own good. Your family has been looking for you.”

 “Buddy you don’t have to worry about my family. I just realized I have never eaten a fairy. Wonder what you all taste like?” My eyes are closing fast. The darkness is settling in.