I Vargulf (Werewolf) - Chapter 3

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 3 

Tech Support
 
 When the going gets tough. The tough call for tech support. I would have called home, but I don’t know the number. Damn cell phones you never have to punch numbers anymore. Just fortunate that there was a phone in this my mother’s room as there was not one in that other room I was in.

 Nuoli dear boy you promised me that this was a direct number. If I get put on hold one more time boy you are so going to get it. Now when a guy gives a girl a magical business card and tells her it is his direct number. It had better be his direct number.

 Now it is not like Nuoli is my boyfriend. He is just my Tech Support Agent. To be honest I have thrown myself at him a few times. Now it is not like he is gay. In fact I don’t think they have a category for him yet. “Nuoli does not do biologicals”, as he likes to say. Which is big shame because under that uber geek is a hotty with a heart of gold.

 “Yes is this the caller who identified herself as my red hot sexy baby mama? If so dear caller do not you have been missing for almost a week now. A great many people are very concerned over your health status. Do note that your call has been traced to a very mysterious and previously unknown area of the phone system. That is being corrected as we speak.” So says my favorite uber geek tech support agent.

 My head is spinning with the information that I have been missing for almost a week. “Nuoli dear boy come rescue me. Rescue me and I will make every wish in your sexual fantasy blog come true.”

 “Caller how is that you are aware of that document?”

 “Hey what can I say you’re not the only one who can use a computer.” I say a little sarcastically.

 “Dear caller it is not fair to continue teasing me. For I have been made aware that you are soon to be a happily married woman. I went over to your house the other day. Your mother unit told me all about your wedding plans and showed me the invitations.”

 “What!”

 “Astrid dear you are my one and only true love. I always knew a day would come when you would break my heart. Please accept this last gift to remember me by. It is that instrument that you requested. I will always treasure our times together.

 “What!”

 The world has truly gone crazy. My head is spinning out of control. On top of all this weird news Nuoli hung up the phone on me. He hung up on me. I suddenly find myself fighting back tears. Wait did he say something about a present?

 The phone is really starting to act weird. It is vibrating and making a strange humming sound. Very slowly a big brown package emerges up out of the phone. Nuoli I don’t know how you did that trick. You are a true Vargulf Techno Mage my love.  

 Inside the box is a sword, scabbard, duty belt, belt pouches, cell phone, two grenades, automatic lock pick gun, mini blow torch, 3x night vision monocular, led flashlight, and for some strange reason a Rubix Cube. Nuoli I promise that I will find every piece of your broken heart and put it all back together again. It is so nice to be loved.

 Picking up the automatic lock pick gun; I have to wonder how did he know? Well I’m not going to waste time dwelling on that question right now. It is time to remove a major inconvenience from my ass. Master locked annoying silver panty chastity belt thingy it is high time your came off.

 Freedom is mine at last. The lock pick gun thingy actually worked. Sliding off the vile chastity belt I finally get a chance to inspect my gunshot wound. I have not had a chance since that night. Praise and blessing to all the Gods and Goddesses of Valhalla. High honors to Odin and Frigga for a miracle has occurred. My ass has healed whole. Why there is no scar at all. It is simply like the wound never happened.

 This is an occasion to celebrate. I get the incantation right on the second attempt to summon forth my magic bathtub. For my last birthday / Christmas I inherited this large copper antique claw footed magic bathtub. It used to belong to my great aunt. She was the last Valkyrie berserker in our clan. According to the old folks she would summon it up during battles, and take blood baths in it. Now a blood bath does sound fun. However right now I just want a good old fashion hot water bath.

 Relaxing in the tub and sipping fine wine. I found some bottles in the closet while I had a water elemental and a fire elemental service the tub. Oh the good life. There is nothing like a little relaxing break from all the action. A short moment of private enjoyment; if only my love Nuoli was here. Suddenly I sense a powerful magic in the room. Then there is a strange popping sound.

 “Nuoli,” I say as I grab him, and pull him into the tub. Next I was kissing him on the lips with fiery passion. I then roll us around in the tub getting on top of him. Out of the corner of my eyes I notice my Uncle Finn is in the room. Very good then there should be a bard on hand to chronicle our first love making.

 “Now daughter dear don’t let me interrupt or anything,” says this very familiar and paternal voice.

 “Daddy!” Jumping up and whisking on a bathrobe faster than most people can blink.

 “Dear BFF Astrid we have come to rescue you,” states my best friend in the world Simone.

 Suddenly I find myself back in the tub. Nuoli, Simone, and I are engaged in three way kiss / hug. I’m trying not to get mad at Simone. After all the girl can’t help it she is a very sexual person after all, and a damn good kisser.  

See there are three basic classes of the Vargulf Race. Fighters like Daddy and me, Mages like Nuoli, and then there are Bards like Uncle Finn and Simone. Your class is determined at birth by the signs and the date of your birth. Little things like what day it is, the phases of the moon, and the arrangement of the stars all play a part in it. Now I was fortunate enough to be born on a December 24th one of the special days of Rage. Thus I’m in the Fighter Class.  

 Now in each of the classes there are sub classes. Examples would be like Nuoli is a Techno Mage and I’m a Berserker. Then we come to the very rare and exotics like my good friend Simone. She is what we call a Seducer. Now there are generally no more than one or two Seducers born every century. However Simone is that uber rare only one every thousand years Seducer. Once long ago the Vargulf where blessed to have two at the same time. I believe their names where Helen and Paris. They caused a lot of trouble and ended up being responsible for the destruction of an entire civilization.  

 Now it’s not like Simone is a Goddess or anything. I think she’s just slightly above average my self. However she has something no other woman has. What it is I just can’t quit describe. All I have to say is that it’s just not fair. Not fair at all. Guys as well as girls just can’t seem to say no to her. She just tosses those raven locks of hers around, bats those long eye lashes, or just smiles and they are under her power.  

I like all Vargulf girls used to fantasize of meeting a male of Simone’s class, but unfortunately never have. Uncle Finn says they tend to have very short life spans. Which is something I can very well understand believe me. I have lost track over the years of all of the psycho, jealous, stalker, wannabe assassins who have gone after my BFF Simone. Well I’ll just say one last thing on this subject. Simone’s father has a Mossberg Customer Appreciation Brass Plaque mounted on the front door of their home.

 “Children we don’t have time for this. Remember we are on a mission here,” grumbles my dear father.

 “It is okay Daddy I do believe I’m rescued.”

“Astrid silly girl we are not here to rescue you,” quips in my Uncle Finn.

 “Not rescue me? Well who then?” 

 “The purpose of our mission is to protect King Oberon and Queen Tatiana from your mother the High Princess of Arcadia. The mission will be considered a success if I can get both my Princess back home safely,” states my loving father.

I Vargulf (Werewolf) Chapter 2

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 2 

Do They Taste Like Chicken

 Okay Astrid Girl enough astral reconnoitering it is time to get the spirit back in the body. See I have been very busy since I woke up this morning. I found out I have to go and do things the hard way. While I was sleeping I had this pleasant dream of having a big breakfast of fresh, bloody, and juicy fairy meat. However fate has gone and said “NO”! Now either my enemies are lucky fools, or they are evil super geniuses. I find myself in a most unusual predicament. Simply put I can not shape change.

 My kind and loving parents have always warned me of the evil and trickery of strangers. However this is some sick and very disturbing shit I find myself in. Some demented sicko has gone and put silver metal panties on me while I was sleeping. Silver has always been the great hubris of the Vargulf Race. Now to make things worse they have a very intricate lock on them which keeps me from getting them off. All of this keeps me from changing shape to a form more fitting for rending my enemies flesh from their bodies, and having a nice nutritious breakfast. 

 What they don’t realize is that all this means is that I just have to go and get all tactical and strategic on them. Well I do give my host props for the huge super comfy bed. The night gown is a little to Renaissance Fairy for my personal taste. Whoever put ribbons in my hair will be lucky if I only tear his/her throat out when I do get free.

 Okay after a last futile attempt to squeeze out of the master locked evil silver panties. I decide it’s time to get out of bed and look around. First off this room is huge. It is easily twice as big as my bedroom at home. There is a desk, bookshelf, wood stove, wine rack, mini bar, and a wedding dress. “Oh no they don’t really think,” I say out loud as my eyes lock on the wedding dress in the corner of the room. Standing in front of the infernal object of ultimate evil as my temper goes from hot to nuclear meltdown. On a table by the dress are drawings, plans, invitations, and more important a picture of the groom to be. I quickly memorize his face. A special death will have to be planned for him.

 In the opposite corner of the room is a nice little wood stove with glowing embers in it. I summon a cute little fire elemental to my hand from it. Then I roll the little guy up in a ball and toss him at the wedding dress. Note to self for future reference; wedding dresses go up like roman candles.

 Fire and chaos my old friends together they have given me inspiration to form a grand plan of battle. In this wonderful moment I have remembered something my Uncle Finn told me about Magical Warfare.

 “Astrid dear we Vargulf can not go toe to toe in magical battle with spells against Mages and Vampires. For our enemies are truly greater than us in that particular arena of battle. However we can crush them with numbers. No other race can summon spirits and elementals like we can. That is how we defeat them in magical battles.”

 Good call Uncle Finn as I lie back down on the bed and depart my body for some astral mayhem. This should not take long I can move at the speed of thought in astral space. My plan is to reconnoiter and summon up a large army of spirits and elementals. Then I will simply level this cursed place.

 During my astral spying phase I have learned this place is a huge castle. I do hope the owners have insurance. Now the inhabitants are very interesting, and damn if there are not a lot of them. Some of them are tiny, some large, and some short. A few of the fairy folk seem to be made out of metal, rock, or have scales. There are your typical fairies with insect wings and others that look like fantasy elves. I even thought I caught a glimpse of a dragon for a second there.

 Just zipping along merrily taking notes, and making plans for a grand demolition worthy of my status. My eyes filled with visions of conquest and then disaster strikes. Apparently I have gone and wandered into my mom’s old room. It has to be her room. Her scent is on the bed, clothes, and etc. Why there are even pictures and paintings of her all about. Suddenly a realization hits me. These strange fairy folk they are my kin.

 Oh this just sucks. As a Vargulf Valkyrie I have taken an oath to protect my kinfolk. Deep down in my heart and my soul I know the truth. I must put an end to my plans of carnage. All the spirits and elementals are released from service after putting out the fires and blowing all the smoke clear.

 I cry all the way back to my body. Where I discover lots of my new fairy folk kin are in the room. Some of them are crying over my apparently lifeless body. Well I can’t have them crying. I rush back into my body and suddenly sit up. Fast talking I thank them all for caring for my body while I was away from it. Before they can interrupt I leap off the bed and rush out the door. With an authoritative voice I announce that I will be staying in my mother’s old room.

 I actually made it to the door of my mother’s old bedroom. Of course the damn door is locked. While standing there wondering what to do next a guard comes over and unlocks the door for me. Holding onto the door I look back at them all and announce,” within the next hour the key to this chastity belt will be placed under this door. If not my wrath will know no bounds.” Then very quickly I slam the door behind me and lock it.

 Kin, family, and relatives this was all so much easier when they where just enemies. My mother’s bedroom the mysterious place where she grew up as a child. She never talked much about her side of the family. All I know is a little Daddy told me. I know she was supposed to be a heroine. Apparently she was some kind of brave knight or holy avenger thingy.

 All of this has caused me to dredge up a dark memory from two years ago. I was sent home early from school one day for something or other. Sneaking into the house to evade my parents and instead I find my mother in my bedroom. She was having a tea party with all my dolls and stuffed animals. Presently she noticed me and invited me to join her. Can you imagine catching your mother playing with your dolls? I asked her, “Mom what are you doing?”

 “Princess Astrid my dear lovely daughter come join me for you must learn to hold a proper court. Soon my dear you will be of proper age and as a member of the royal family you will be required to perform certain duties.”

 I told her she was crazy, and I flipped the tea table over. The tea spilled all over her dress. In a panic I ran out of the house as fast as I could. Outside I was alone and crying not sure of what to do. After a bit I crept back in the house. I found my mother still sitting there drenched in tea and she was crying. I just watched in horror for a few moments and then I began cleaning up the mess. The whole time my mother just sat there crying. I did not know what else to do for her. Then she just snapped out of it when my father came home. We never ever talked about that day and what happened. Damn all you faeries for making me remember that.  

my writing project - I Vargulf (Werewolf) Chapter 1

I Vargulf (Werewolf)

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 1 

Motorcycles are Dangerous
 
 I do hope those vampys know this means war. As I lick the last of the vampire sniper’s blood off my claws I notice the .50 caliber Barrett Riffle. Oh how I can’t help but smile. It brings a tear of joy to my eye. My enemies have thought to honor me by using real military weapons. Wow how special is that? Then the hot fiery pain from the silver .50cal bullet in my ass rips thru my body.

 
 Oh vengeance will be mine dear vampys. This time it was not funny or cute. Not like the drive by in front of the school. Not like the time at the mall with the supper soakers loaded up with deadly acid. Now those where truly funny times. Funny Ha Ha good laughs. I mean I totally got the joke after I killed every last one of them. Suddenly it just hit me how truly funny it all was. I laughed and laughed.

 The thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that the bullet was meant for my heart. What kind of two bit sniper does not account for windage? Why does not everyone know that adrenaline fueled fifteen year old hot racer girls do when presented with a long line of green lights? I mean come on I was ridding a Hayabusa the fastest production motorcycle in the world. Of course I’m going to nail the throttle wide open. The bike being a Hayabusa is going to launch up off the ground. So if you want to nail your target in the heart. Aim higher stupid. This is not rocket science here vampys.

 By all rights I should be in Valhalla right now. Why I would be contemplating which God do I have my way with first Thor or Loki? If I was up there I would be drinking Meade and eating a big hunking leg of pork. What I should not be doing right now is trying to dig a big ass silver bullet out of my ass. This shit hurts. Note to self little sharp pieces of scrap metal do not make good scalpels. 

 Will my ass ever bee the same? Generally I’m quite proud of my fine ass. Why just this last summer at the beach my ass caused a six car pile up. All I did was bend over to pick up a Frisbee at my feet. Of course I was wearing my little red g-string at the time. It’s not like there aren’t hundreds of other six foot tall blondes running around Laguna Beach where I live. Oh but who is going to want to look at my ass now? I just know this wound is going to heal leaving a big ugly scar. I nearly faint as I finally get the bullet out.

 Oh hell I must look a sight as I go limping down the street. Wait I’m limping? Vampy assholes this shit better heal up I have prom coming up. Just look my black racing suit is all ripped to shreds, covered in blood, oil, and dirt. Daddy is going to be so pissed I had to ditch the Hayabusa. Poor thing it’s totaled. I just got it only a few weeks ago as my Birthday slash Christmas Present.
 Shit! Here comes a cop car. Great he spotted me. Here he comes. Like Uncle Finn always says,” You got three choices Astrid fight, flee, or smooze your way out.” Lucky for the cop he is a cute and I believe I will go with smoozing.

 “Excuse me is that your motorcycle back over there?” Inquires the nice hot police officer.

 “The motorcycle back over there burning on fire? Why yes it’s mine.” I say in my best daddy’s little girl voice.

 “Yes that’s the one. Hey do you need medical attention? You wouldn’t happen to have a license would you?” He ask leaning out of the car.

 “No Officer I will be fine if I can just get home. Here is my license.” 

 “Astrid Torahammas age fifteen. It says here you live on Torahammas Lane in Laguna Beach?”

 “Yes and yes Officer. The city named the street after us for all of my Daddy’s hard civic work. We give a lot of money to the Mayor and the Police. Do we have a problem Officer?”

 “Well no I just want to double check this. It is not every day you find a fifteen year old girl with a Class A & M Driver’s License.”

 “Yes my Daddy got it for me. He got me a Pilot’s License too. Now I can fly airplanes and helicopters.”

 “I don’t believe this, but it checks out. Say why don’t you get in the back seat, and I will give you a ride home. It is long way from Huntington to Laguna.” 

 “That is very sweet of you Officer. Say can we stop and get something to eat? Suddenly I’m very hungry.”

 “No problem. Would it be all right if I asked you a personal question?

 “Knock yourself out Officer. What would you like to know?”

 “Is your mother’s name Donella Faerydae Torahammas?”

 “Yes that is my mom’s name. Do you know her?” I say stifling back a yawn.

 “No Royal Princess Astrid I never had the honor of meeting the High Princess Donella.”

 “Okay dude what is with all this princess bullshit?” I say yawning again and fighting to keep my eyes open.

 “Don’t tell me you do not know that you are the daughter of the High Princess of Arcadia? Why your mother is a great hero of the Shadow Court and all fairy people.”

 “I don’t know anything about that.” I say fighting to stay awake. “Hey did you put a sleep spell on me?”

 “Yes I did. It is for you own good. Your family has been looking for you.”

 “Buddy you don’t have to worry about my family. I just realized I have never eaten a fairy. Wonder what you all taste like?” My eyes are closing fast. The darkness is settling in.