I Vargulf (Werewolf)
by Fredrick J. Rourk
Copyright 2009
Chapter 1
Motorcycles are Dangerous
I do hope those vampys know this means war. As I lick the last of the vampire sniper’s blood off my claws I notice the .50 caliber Barrett Riffle. Oh how I can’t help but smile. It brings a tear of joy to my eye. My enemies have thought to honor me by using real military weapons. Wow how special is that? Then the hot fiery pain from the silver .50cal bullet in my ass rips thru my body.
Oh vengeance will be mine dear vampys. This time it was not funny or cute. Not like the drive by in front of the school. Not like the time at the mall with the supper soakers loaded up with deadly acid. Now those where truly funny times. Funny Ha Ha good laughs. I mean I totally got the joke after I killed every last one of them. Suddenly it just hit me how truly funny it all was. I laughed and laughed.
The thing that pisses me off the most is the fact that the bullet was meant for my heart. What kind of two bit sniper does not account for windage? Why does not everyone know that adrenaline fueled fifteen year old hot racer girls do when presented with a long line of green lights? I mean come on I was ridding a Hayabusa the fastest production motorcycle in the world. Of course I’m going to nail the throttle wide open. The bike being a Hayabusa is going to launch up off the ground. So if you want to nail your target in the heart. Aim higher stupid. This is not rocket science here vampys.
By all rights I should be in Valhalla right now. Why I would be contemplating which God do I have my way with first Thor or Loki? If I was up there I would be drinking Meade and eating a big hunking leg of pork. What I should not be doing right now is trying to dig a big ass silver bullet out of my ass. This shit hurts. Note to self little sharp pieces of scrap metal do not make good scalpels.
Will my ass ever bee the same? Generally I’m quite proud of my fine ass. Why just this last summer at the beach my ass caused a six car pile up. All I did was bend over to pick up a Frisbee at my feet. Of course I was wearing my little red g-string at the time. It’s not like there aren’t hundreds of other six foot tall blondes running around Laguna Beach where I live. Oh but who is going to want to look at my ass now? I just know this wound is going to heal leaving a big ugly scar. I nearly faint as I finally get the bullet out.
Oh hell I must look a sight as I go limping down the street. Wait I’m limping? Vampy assholes this shit better heal up I have prom coming up. Just look my black racing suit is all ripped to shreds, covered in blood, oil, and dirt. Daddy is going to be so pissed I had to ditch the Hayabusa. Poor thing it’s totaled. I just got it only a few weeks ago as my Birthday slash Christmas Present.
Shit! Here comes a cop car. Great he spotted me. Here he comes. Like Uncle Finn always says,” You got three choices Astrid fight, flee, or smooze your way out.” Lucky for the cop he is a cute and I believe I will go with smoozing.
“Excuse me is that your motorcycle back over there?” Inquires the nice hot police officer.
“The motorcycle back over there burning on fire? Why yes it’s mine.” I say in my best daddy’s little girl voice.
“Yes that’s the one. Hey do you need medical attention? You wouldn’t happen to have a license would you?” He ask leaning out of the car.
“No Officer I will be fine if I can just get home. Here is my license.”
“Astrid Torahammas age fifteen. It says here you live on Torahammas Lane in Laguna Beach?”
“Yes and yes Officer. The city named the street after us for all of my Daddy’s hard civic work. We give a lot of money to the Mayor and the Police. Do we have a problem Officer?”
“Well no I just want to double check this. It is not every day you find a fifteen year old girl with a Class A & M Driver’s License.”
“Yes my Daddy got it for me. He got me a Pilot’s License too. Now I can fly airplanes and helicopters.”
“I don’t believe this, but it checks out. Say why don’t you get in the back seat, and I will give you a ride home. It is long way from Huntington to Laguna.”
“That is very sweet of you Officer. Say can we stop and get something to eat? Suddenly I’m very hungry.”
“No problem. Would it be all right if I asked you a personal question?
“Knock yourself out Officer. What would you like to know?”
“Is your mother’s name Donella Faerydae Torahammas?”
“Yes that is my mom’s name. Do you know her?” I say stifling back a yawn.
“No Royal Princess Astrid I never had the honor of meeting the High Princess Donella.”
“Okay dude what is with all this princess bullshit?” I say yawning again and fighting to keep my eyes open.
“Don’t tell me you do not know that you are the daughter of the High Princess of Arcadia? Why your mother is a great hero of the Shadow Court and all fairy people.”
“I don’t know anything about that.” I say fighting to stay awake. “Hey did you put a sleep spell on me?”
“Yes I did. It is for you own good. Your family has been looking for you.”
“Buddy you don’t have to worry about my family. I just realized I have never eaten a fairy. Wonder what you all taste like?” My eyes are closing fast. The darkness is settling in.
All and all, Astrid seems a little mature for her age, but I like the nature of her internal dialogue. It's not dumbed down like a lot of writers do with teenage character, but it's not over the top with vulgarities either. You have established her personality as a vain spoiled rich brat without forcing the point too much.
ReplyDeleteSomething about the exchange with the cop though just doesn't quite ring true. He seems too calm and the questions he asks are a little too laid back for a guy having a conversation with a girl who's covered in blood and who's bike is burning somewhere off in the distance. I thought something was off with him right away and didn't quite understand why Astrid, a girl who regularly wards of vampire attacks, didn't sense it.
That aside, I will be coming back to read the rest soon, which says something for the opening.
Thank for your comments.
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