I Vargulf (Werewolf) - Chapter 3

I Vargulf (Werewolf) 

by Fredrick J. Rourk

Copyright 2009

Chapter 3 

Tech Support
 
 When the going gets tough. The tough call for tech support. I would have called home, but I don’t know the number. Damn cell phones you never have to punch numbers anymore. Just fortunate that there was a phone in this my mother’s room as there was not one in that other room I was in.

 Nuoli dear boy you promised me that this was a direct number. If I get put on hold one more time boy you are so going to get it. Now when a guy gives a girl a magical business card and tells her it is his direct number. It had better be his direct number.

 Now it is not like Nuoli is my boyfriend. He is just my Tech Support Agent. To be honest I have thrown myself at him a few times. Now it is not like he is gay. In fact I don’t think they have a category for him yet. “Nuoli does not do biologicals”, as he likes to say. Which is big shame because under that uber geek is a hotty with a heart of gold.

 “Yes is this the caller who identified herself as my red hot sexy baby mama? If so dear caller do not you have been missing for almost a week now. A great many people are very concerned over your health status. Do note that your call has been traced to a very mysterious and previously unknown area of the phone system. That is being corrected as we speak.” So says my favorite uber geek tech support agent.

 My head is spinning with the information that I have been missing for almost a week. “Nuoli dear boy come rescue me. Rescue me and I will make every wish in your sexual fantasy blog come true.”

 “Caller how is that you are aware of that document?”

 “Hey what can I say you’re not the only one who can use a computer.” I say a little sarcastically.

 “Dear caller it is not fair to continue teasing me. For I have been made aware that you are soon to be a happily married woman. I went over to your house the other day. Your mother unit told me all about your wedding plans and showed me the invitations.”

 “What!”

 “Astrid dear you are my one and only true love. I always knew a day would come when you would break my heart. Please accept this last gift to remember me by. It is that instrument that you requested. I will always treasure our times together.

 “What!”

 The world has truly gone crazy. My head is spinning out of control. On top of all this weird news Nuoli hung up the phone on me. He hung up on me. I suddenly find myself fighting back tears. Wait did he say something about a present?

 The phone is really starting to act weird. It is vibrating and making a strange humming sound. Very slowly a big brown package emerges up out of the phone. Nuoli I don’t know how you did that trick. You are a true Vargulf Techno Mage my love.  

 Inside the box is a sword, scabbard, duty belt, belt pouches, cell phone, two grenades, automatic lock pick gun, mini blow torch, 3x night vision monocular, led flashlight, and for some strange reason a Rubix Cube. Nuoli I promise that I will find every piece of your broken heart and put it all back together again. It is so nice to be loved.

 Picking up the automatic lock pick gun; I have to wonder how did he know? Well I’m not going to waste time dwelling on that question right now. It is time to remove a major inconvenience from my ass. Master locked annoying silver panty chastity belt thingy it is high time your came off.

 Freedom is mine at last. The lock pick gun thingy actually worked. Sliding off the vile chastity belt I finally get a chance to inspect my gunshot wound. I have not had a chance since that night. Praise and blessing to all the Gods and Goddesses of Valhalla. High honors to Odin and Frigga for a miracle has occurred. My ass has healed whole. Why there is no scar at all. It is simply like the wound never happened.

 This is an occasion to celebrate. I get the incantation right on the second attempt to summon forth my magic bathtub. For my last birthday / Christmas I inherited this large copper antique claw footed magic bathtub. It used to belong to my great aunt. She was the last Valkyrie berserker in our clan. According to the old folks she would summon it up during battles, and take blood baths in it. Now a blood bath does sound fun. However right now I just want a good old fashion hot water bath.

 Relaxing in the tub and sipping fine wine. I found some bottles in the closet while I had a water elemental and a fire elemental service the tub. Oh the good life. There is nothing like a little relaxing break from all the action. A short moment of private enjoyment; if only my love Nuoli was here. Suddenly I sense a powerful magic in the room. Then there is a strange popping sound.

 “Nuoli,” I say as I grab him, and pull him into the tub. Next I was kissing him on the lips with fiery passion. I then roll us around in the tub getting on top of him. Out of the corner of my eyes I notice my Uncle Finn is in the room. Very good then there should be a bard on hand to chronicle our first love making.

 “Now daughter dear don’t let me interrupt or anything,” says this very familiar and paternal voice.

 “Daddy!” Jumping up and whisking on a bathrobe faster than most people can blink.

 “Dear BFF Astrid we have come to rescue you,” states my best friend in the world Simone.

 Suddenly I find myself back in the tub. Nuoli, Simone, and I are engaged in three way kiss / hug. I’m trying not to get mad at Simone. After all the girl can’t help it she is a very sexual person after all, and a damn good kisser.  

See there are three basic classes of the Vargulf Race. Fighters like Daddy and me, Mages like Nuoli, and then there are Bards like Uncle Finn and Simone. Your class is determined at birth by the signs and the date of your birth. Little things like what day it is, the phases of the moon, and the arrangement of the stars all play a part in it. Now I was fortunate enough to be born on a December 24th one of the special days of Rage. Thus I’m in the Fighter Class.  

 Now in each of the classes there are sub classes. Examples would be like Nuoli is a Techno Mage and I’m a Berserker. Then we come to the very rare and exotics like my good friend Simone. She is what we call a Seducer. Now there are generally no more than one or two Seducers born every century. However Simone is that uber rare only one every thousand years Seducer. Once long ago the Vargulf where blessed to have two at the same time. I believe their names where Helen and Paris. They caused a lot of trouble and ended up being responsible for the destruction of an entire civilization.  

 Now it’s not like Simone is a Goddess or anything. I think she’s just slightly above average my self. However she has something no other woman has. What it is I just can’t quit describe. All I have to say is that it’s just not fair. Not fair at all. Guys as well as girls just can’t seem to say no to her. She just tosses those raven locks of hers around, bats those long eye lashes, or just smiles and they are under her power.  

I like all Vargulf girls used to fantasize of meeting a male of Simone’s class, but unfortunately never have. Uncle Finn says they tend to have very short life spans. Which is something I can very well understand believe me. I have lost track over the years of all of the psycho, jealous, stalker, wannabe assassins who have gone after my BFF Simone. Well I’ll just say one last thing on this subject. Simone’s father has a Mossberg Customer Appreciation Brass Plaque mounted on the front door of their home.

 “Children we don’t have time for this. Remember we are on a mission here,” grumbles my dear father.

 “It is okay Daddy I do believe I’m rescued.”

“Astrid silly girl we are not here to rescue you,” quips in my Uncle Finn.

 “Not rescue me? Well who then?” 

 “The purpose of our mission is to protect King Oberon and Queen Tatiana from your mother the High Princess of Arcadia. The mission will be considered a success if I can get both my Princess back home safely,” states my loving father.